


The book of Karma

by Tallburntbacon



Category: Original Work
Genre: Death, Karma - Freeform, Lucifer - Freeform, Original Character Death(s), Original Character(s), Original Universe, Religion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-19
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-15 14:41:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29560668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tallburntbacon/pseuds/Tallburntbacon
Summary: Karma, the handler of retribution, the one who rewards is a just your average deity trying to live a normal boring life without her family interrupting her relaxation, telling her she should be doing her job.Why should she have to her job when there's no point in anything.Follow her through her existentialism and attempts at remaining relaxed.





	The book of Karma

**Author's Note:**

> I'm just having fun with this story. I don't actually plan to keep updating this.

“The book of Karma is an absolute anomaly, the most well-known legend in the entire world or shall I say the entire multiverse. No one knows when it was written, who wrote it and whether or not to believe it. It’s quite the extraordinary tale. A tale I will repeat to you tonight. Whether you’re an average listener or even a member of the cult the Karma legend seems to have created, if you’re a sceptic or just want something to listen to while cooking, the Karma legend will be stuck in your brain.”  
A girl with dyed dark brown hair turned up the podcast she was listening to,  
“When God was created, it’s unknown if this is the same God mentioned in the Bible or a completely different being,”  
The girl with bright red eyes snorted,  
“life came into existence with him, 31 billion years ago. A year later he created Karma; the handler of retribution, the one who rewards, the first of his children, the strongest and the smartest,”  
The girl trying, and failing, to do her maths homework’s laughs got even louder at the thought of that being what was translated from the original text,  
“unspecified whether or not this was by himself or with another deity,”  
‘Uh? Of course it was just him! Jesus Christ!’ the girl thought slamming her fist into the soft, cream sofa she sat upon,  
“Soon after came her brother Death then War and then Mother Nature, Lucifer, Famine, Pestilence, Pollution, Fate, Reaper and finally the last of the lot Gabriel,”  
‘Fuck Gabriel.’ The girl affirmed nodding along to the narrator’s voice,  
“God gave his children jobs to look after the universe he created. They thrived and everything went well until a war broke out amongst every planet in every solar system. The only answer was to destroy it, which is exactly what God did. 14 billion years ago. Then, he created the universe we reside in now. With his past failures, Karma lost faith in her father,”  
‘Got lost a bit in translation but sure why not.’ The girl now sat drinking her apple juice, having given up on her maths homework,  
“Still, her goal remained of trying to make the universe better. Humanity was her biggest concern. We were and, let’s be honest, still are a disaster. It was her job to fix it.”  
‘Shouldn’t have even tried. Humanity’s a mess.’ The girl concluded, now pacing around her living room completely bored out of her mind,  
“She lived on Earth occasionally using her god granted scythe to cut open a hole in reality, allowing her to teleport from planet to planet,”  
‘Bullshit! God granted, HA, as if! He had nothing to do with it! Shadows formed it with the help of chaos magic, not God.’ The girl scoffed,  
“Ever since the beginning of humans, she has been here helping. She helped in the evolution of humans,”  
‘Little bit of a fib but it’s already been done so…’ the girl laughed, her voice echoing in her empty flat,  
“She, supposedly, wrote the Bible in the name of her father through his voice.”  
‘Not exactly, but it was collaboration so… I did do a lot of it or at least the parts bashing Lucifer, HA. Lucifer can suck it.’ the girl came to her senses after a laughing fit on the floor from completely nothing but her own thoughts,  
“She erased the corrupt city of Atlantis leaving few who remembered it,”  
‘There you go! Something true! Fucking Finally! Jesus Christ! You’d think with it all written down in a book they wouldn’t get this much messed up!’ the girl fumed now getting another glass of apple juice,  
“And much more. She then ended the second world war via manipulation of the human mind and, hence, Hitler’s death was due.”  
‘Well yeah sort of had to seeing as I’m the one who fucking started the series of wars.’ The girl rocked in her kitchen chair, she was too lazy to go back to the sofa when getting her apple juice,  
“She can control anyone. She can do anything.”  
‘You’re fucking right, I can!’ the girl cheered in her seat,  
“She is one of the strongest beings in existence,”  
‘The SECOND strongest being in existence! Don’t mess it up!’ the girl continued,  
“Her family-.”  
The girl had to pause the podcast as she heard her daily post come through the letterbox. Currently she was living in the county of Armagh under the name Nessa Byrne. She even goes to school despite not having any need to. Jonesboro grammar school. Life was boring without something to do; the only people she knew were her family, the only mandatory thing she had to do was her job, she didn’t have to eat or drink and, with her immortality, she’s experienced almost everything there is to experience.  
Although she should be doing her job, her job of making sure people get what’s coming to them good or bad, with her laziness came lack of inspiration or work ethic. She could just take ten minutes out of her day to do it but… who cares, right? Not Karma. It has been years since she ordered a meeting to deal with a difficult situation and that’s exactly the way she likes it. No work, no problems, just eternal relaxation.  
The girl, Karma, stepped towards her letterbox and looked through the useless letters sent to her. She didn’t have any bills, since she manipulated other people to pay it for her, nor did she have any post from friends or school. Only brochures.  
She sighed, ‘I should deal with the people constantly giving me these things, jeez.’  
Her footsteps rung out through her empty house. Her dyed brown, hip- length, straight hair swayed behind her. Karma looked human but don’t be fooled because she sure as hell isn’t. Naturally, her hair would be a crystal blue but, seeing as she lives a fake life as a teenager, her school wouldn’t allow it. She kept her bright red eyes even though they aren’t exactly human. Her eyes are important to her, everyone in her family had the same violent colour. Yes, it was a big point in the Karma the legend book and so people always point it out but on the other hand it was fun to see people’s reactions.  
She was wearing a special dress of hers. Her dress style was very… unique. At the moment she wore a dress she got in 1894 that she commissioned her brother, Reaper, to modernise. The bottom was a dark teal, pleated, high-waist skirt with a darker petticoat underneath it. The top was a black blouse with bishop sleeves and a black, hooded tailcoat. Teal, fingerless gloves covered her hands. Her brother was truly talented.  
While making her way back to her kitchen, a clatter could be heard all around her apartment. Walking into her kitchen, she could see a square of purple flames carving itself into her wooden floor, the end of an obsidian knife stabbing through the fabric of reality. Again, Karma sighed and jumped straight into the portal. One of the many rules accumulated in her family over the years, if someone creates a portal in front of you, you jump into it. After a quick five seconds, she appeared in black void. Everywhere you looked was a straight, pure black colour like you used the fill tool on the sky. In the distance was a bright, white light infecting the darkness with it’s pure feeling. Closer, you could see it was a house, a house with a very tall roof. What you couldn’t see was the floors of basements underneath it.  
Karma was in the middle of the universe, the heart of chaos, God’s very own planet. The centre piece of the chaos galaxy, a collection of 11 planets surrounding it. Her sister, War, stood beside her. She knew it was going to be her, if it’s a purple flamed portal it’s her. Light pink hair in a Dutch braid flung behind her head and her bright red eyes were covered by the gold sunglasses she always wore; Karma didn’t understand why she wore them in the darkness. A brown flight jacket fit around her body and underneath it was a light brown military shirt. She wore black leggings and black gladiator boots. Her nose had a nostril piercing.  
She started towards the blinding house with her closest sister.  
War spoke, “So… you’re late.”  
Karma inquired, “late to what? I don’t remember anything happening, I thought you just wanted to hang out.”  
“Karma, Reaper called a meeting,” War made an incredulous face, “he and Death were having a problem with someone trying to cheat dying. Did you not get the raven?”  
Karma slowly nodded, “right, right, okay, yeah, I totally knew this was happening.”  
“Karma, what happened to your raven.”  
“Well… so you know the way… okay so you know how… it flew away.”  
War sighed, “Karma, we’ll get you a new one later, okay, now then, let’s get going.”  
“Yeah. This is going to be boring, the meetings are always like a classroom full children and none of them are listening to the teacher.”  
“That’s just you, Karma. You need to respect dad more. He created us.”  
“Yeah but he created us to just do what he was too lazy to do.”  
“That’s not-… never mind. You wouldn’t get it anyway.”  
They continued in silence as Karma hopped along beside her sister thinking about the podcast she was listening to.  
“So I was listening to Harriot Ebner’s podcast, you know the one that mentioned me or us… I guess, yeah, well it was talking about my book again,” Karma started, “I was going to finish the episode when you called me and apparently they got a guest from my cult.”  
Karma continued talking as War sent her obsidian jack-knife to the void until she needed it next.  
Elsewhere, Gabriel was complaining.  
“It’s always her! She’s always late!” he huffed, “If I were late like her I would be chastised! I say we demote her from the head chair and give it to someone else. Someone who actually works, like Reaper or-or me!”  
“Calm down, Gabriel. You were literally late the other day because you wanted to finish one of your water colour paintings. You’re just salty you lost against her in your last planetary race which you challenged her to,” Groaned Death.  
Gabriel went quiet and slumped in his chair. The seating arrangement went as follows, the oldest you were the further away you were from their dad. God sat at the head of the table with Karma on the opposite end’s head chair. Beside her was Death and War.  
Anyway, Eventually, you could hear footsteps coming down the stairs to the briefing room.  
“Heyo! Hey guys!” Karma strutted in and towards her seat, Gabriel glaring at her along the way, “Reaper, what’s the problem?”  
“Thank you for finally arriving Karma,” Reaper deadpanned in his gravelly voice, “so let’s get into it, this is Eric Miller. A human from the state of England that has been tainted by the Olcs of Dorchadas. He has tried to defy Death and I using charms of the darkness. His organs should have failed him by now. His soul has transcended into my planet but his body has stayed in the mortal realm. I have tried to locate the Olcs however, I cannot and I believe to finish this job I, or Death, will have to confront the boy.”  
Pollution brought up, “Karma, you know Earth, right?”  
“Yeah but not England THE COUNTRY, I’ve never been there. My house is in Northern Ireland. I’ve lived there since the great famine and before that I travelled around not staying in one place.”  
Her brother Famine laughed in his seat, “Some fine work of mine, if I do say so myself.”  
“Yeah but… it’s Earth, it’s all the same right, you’ll know what to do and you’re only going to be there to help show Reaper and Death around.” Pollution swung on her chair, her fluffy, pink princess coat hitting the ground below her. She’s very short.  
“Yes, Karma I will hope for your input on the placement of this boy. However, you are not needed for the execution. You’re bad at that.” Reaper’s black trench coat was way too big for his body and he had been wearing it for the last 100 years so it was as dirty as a pig.  
“Oh-oh okay, I’m not offended, no, not at all.”  
Death smiled, “We can just go up to this guy, I shoot him and you collect his body then we’re done.”  
“Indeed,” Reaper decided, “However, Lucifer I would ask for your help seeing as dark charms is your domain and this Eric of England is most likely gaining immortality every fortnight. Death may be forced away from him.”  
“Alright.” Lucifer nodded.  
“Well then, guess this is over so I can go back-back to my house and my… food… you know what? Do any of you want to hang out.” Karma stood up with her hand on the door handle.  
“Yeah, karma, you’re joining us on this hunt.” Death stated.  
His anchor grey, short, polished, wavy hair flowed freely as he walked towards the slacking girl. His eyes were the same bright red as Karma’s and he wore a light grey button up shirt that he didn’t tuck into his black jeans. Over his shoulder he held his favourite black blazer. He looked like a wannabe mob boss, in Karma’s opinion, she thought he looked like an idiot but clothes don’t make the person. Karma believed maybe, one day, his clothing his style will catch up to his banging personality.  
“Ok, fine then but your buying me a galaxy.” Karma laughed.  
“There aren’t any galaxies for sale at the moment. I checked the universal auctions and the most expensive thing was a planet. It was pretty small though and we already have bigger ones in the collection of chaos but-.”  
Karma interrupted Death’s tangent, “No, no, not that. Galaxy’s a chocolate bar- y’know what? It doesn’t matter. Let’s go. Death, Lucifer, Reaper c’mon.”  
God sighed, “Well, she never can take her time. The rest of us will continue this meeting, there are other matters at hand.”  
Karma spouted, “What else is there to talk about?” she looked back and forth between her siblings.  
“Well, if you read the letters we sent with the raven you would know, we- the cogads have gone to war with the troids and they are running themselves into the ground and with them they will take the rest of their galaxy. You aren’t needed for this seeing as War is useful for this but this meeting was supposed to be held a week AGO. AND YOU DIDN’T SHOW UP!” God’s howling voice roared throughout the room.  
“Then get me a new raven.” Insisted Karma.  
“WHAT- what happened to you raven?” asked God sternly, “I’m tired of it, Karma, get your shit together.”  
Karma retorted, “My raven flew away. That’s not my fault.”  
“It’s a robot. It won’t fly away unless you tell it to.” Famine clarified.  
“Yeah but… I… I made a mistake and now it is somewhere on Earth in the middle of the woods.” Karma opened the door, “but anyway, we have a job to do and I am leaving. Goodbye, Dad. Goodbye, siblings. And goodbye War because I like you the most. C’mon guys!” Karma hooted as she bounced out the door, straight to outside the pure white house.  
“Death,” Death popped his head up at God’s words, “Keep an eye on her.” 

Karma waited outside with her own weapon out, ready to create a portal. A scythe dripping with shadows fit perfectly in her hands. That scythe was one of the most special things to Karma, EVER. Not only was it made of shadow magic straight from the heart of chaos but it also changes form based on whatever fits Karma best. It cuts into the air and creates a silver, sparkling circular portal to anywhere she wants.  
“Yo! Death hurry up I want to get out of here!” she called down into the house.  
Beside her, Reaper and Lucifer prepared their own weapons. Lucifer held out a small, black box about the size of a wedding ring’s box. He pressed a grey button on the top of it and it opened up to a silver battle axe. One of the stupidest weapons, to Karma, since she can’t pick it up. Only Lucifer can. It’s one of Karma’s best tactics during the 11 weeks of championships, a game with her and her siblings every 10 years, she will take their weapons so they can’t compete as well.  
His ruby red skin was darker than his rose red hair. He wore a black, leather jacket, a white shirt and black skinny jeans. A bit different to his usual gothic style but dapper none the less.  
Reaper’s hair was slicked back and chartreuse green matching his olive green skin. He was wearing a violet waistcoat over a black buttoned up shirt and black suspenders, over it all, connected to black loose denim trousers. Of course, he also had on his dirty trench coat. Reaper always dressed way too formal, he would do it daily. He didn’t have his weapon out, which was a sword made of the same material as Karma’s.  
Death finally arrived and the four teleported straight to England. Lucifer stabbed a golden fire into the ground creating his transport and Reaper followed him. Karma did the same but with her portal, she etched a lightning like, sparkling circle into the sky that shone in the dark atmosphere.  
“So,” Karma started taking out her phone from her skirt’s pocket, “Eric Miller… ok, I just googled his name and he had a news article on him recently. Apparently he had a tree fall on top of him crushing all of his ribs… but the doctors were able to save him miraculously… it happened right here actually.”  
Reaper walked, looking at the huge, fallen tree blocking his path with disdain, “Yes, this should’ve been his death bed. How unfortunate. Where is he now? Please, ask your device.”  
“Well, no, it can’t find people unless I were to look on his, like, twitter account or something… I reckon he’s the type of guy to tweet a bit too much onto twitter, I’ll check it now, actually. Oh, he’s been live tweeting him on a date. How unclassy.” Karma informed sarcasm littering her tone.  
“Where’s this date?” asked Death looking over Karma’s shoulders at her rose gold phone.  
“Emm… he’s at… the violet valley, it’s a café downtown. It’s only 3 miles from here. We can just… teleport.” Karma concluded.  
“Why not walk it?” Reaper quizzed returning to the group.  
“Because that’s, like, 50-60 minutes. Do you not know how long a mile is?” Karma scrutinised, scrunching her nose in confusion.  
“Earthly measurements are very far at the bottom of my to learn list.” He replied.  
Karma giggled, “Death has probably completed everything in His ‘To-learn list’ considering he just stays in his library reading all day, every day.”  
“I wouldn’t be laughing if I were you because you only know 20 languages while I know every language in the universe.”  
Karma froze, “Yeah… well you’re not me, so… anyway, let’s move on.” She took out her scythe and teleported the lot to the violet valley, “he’s with the girl in there. Do we just charge in and kill him? Because that would be a bit anti-invisible. I know how much you love to be unseen.”  
“No, we wait.” Reaper walked to the side of the building and went invisible.  
One of his many talents was going invisible, something only he shared.  
“Uh Reaper, we can’t do that. Care to elaborate on what we do. This is your mission.” Lucifer inquired.  
He unveiled himself, “Alright then, Lucifer, you go over and pretend you’re waiting for someone there. Death, you and Karma sit in the café and watch him. Alert me with your cellular device when he uproots.” And back he returned to the shadows.  
Karma sighed, “very brief, very brief but workable, c’mon Death let’s get some coffees or something. See you later Luci.”  
Karma and Death walked into the purple tinted café to see several tables full of people. The décor was quite lovely as there was a lot of plants mainly violet ones.  
“Their place is very nice. The choice of flower is wonderful, I love cyclamens.”  
Karma rolled her eyes at her brother’s ‘know-it-all brain’. A boy in a waiter’s outfit walked up to the pair. She looked him up and down and automatically concluded he had not slept in at least 24 hours. His head was drooping, his eyes had large black bags under them and his hands were shaking probably from the amount of coffee he had to drink to even be functioning as of now.  
“Hello… welcome to the violet valley… would you like a seat… please follow me, we’re really very full-busy today, I’ll show you to-to the place.”  
Karma nodded and Death followed suit, giving each other side eyes as this boy was way too tired to be working. While making their way through she decided that the boy should be allowed to rest so she did her magic. It’s fine, he deserved it.  
Soon enough, she saw the boy leaving with his bags. ‘His tiredness is a sin; no one should have to go through that. This world really is crooked.’ Karma thought.  
“Where’s Eric?” Death brought her out of her trance.  
“He’s… he’s… Over there.” She nodded her head towards a table occupied by a man with a mullet and a woman in a tight dress, both of whom seemed to be greatly uncomfortable, “on twitter he described it as ‘the most fun he’s had with a girl in months’. He must’ve been really over exaggerating it. What is he an author, because that was some mad hyperbole action right there.” Karma laughed at her own joke.  
“Karma, we’re here to murder him. NOT make fun of him. Focus.” Death complained sternly.  
“It’s going to be fine, stop worrying. We just have to watch him until he leaves.” Retorted Karma.  
“Karma you haven’t done a mission in weeks and the last one you did you almost failed, you would’ve failed. If it weren’t for War, that is.”  
“I’m the second strongest being in all of existence, ok, I can handle anything.”  
Death sighed, “What have you been doing, anyways? It’s been a while.”  
Karma hesitated, “OH...em- I… literally nothing at all. I’ve just been sitting at home and going to school. Haven’t been doing the homework though.”  
“Why? You don’t have to go to that-that place. You already have a job.”  
“Aw, that’s adorable, the boy who likes to learn doesn’t like school, HA. But, it’s… well I have to do something right? Can’t just stay at home so… plus it’s fun to mess with the people there. They are so… stupid. There’s this one girl, Lilith, she’s so annoying… somewhat. I’ve never really talked to her but she always shouts out the answer in class and any time I ACTUALLY put my hand up it always seems to be a question she shouts out.”  
Death whispered, “Power trip.”  
“What’d you say?”  
“Nothing, look.”  
Karma turned her head towards Eric who was now leaving with his lady friend. Like before, the mood was more awkward than a parent teacher interview. She checked twitter again and this time he had just tweeted out  
‘her: how much money do you have  
me: I’m a millionaire  
her: swoons’  
Karma couldn’t help but cringe. Her and Death walked out just as a waiter came with some menus.  
“Hey, are you leaving? You haven’t even eaten.”  
“Oh… something came up, sorry… bye.” Karma rushed out the door soon followed by her brother.  
Once out they went straight to Reaper.  
“Yo, Reaper, yeah…he left… so… do your thing.” Proclaimed Karma.  
Reaper gave the girl an blank look, “Where did he go?”  
Death answered, “That way.”  
Karma gazed at the dark, dingy road he pointed at. It was probably the place of a couple murders, maybe a mugging or two. Not exactly the place you’d bring your date after a shitty time. Further back, if Karma focused her eyes, she could see Eric and his stupid hair. He looked to be hovering over the tense woman. His entire body was twitching and blood dripped from his mouth. If she focused on listening she could hear sniffles and growling.  
“Oh fuck, well Reaper, Death, time to murder him. Luci, you stop the magic… or whatever it is he’s doing.”  
In the time it took for Karma and Death to get outside, Lucifer had already recouped with the harvester of souls. Immediately, they went into action. The reaper, the harvester of souls, the one who collects, took out his shadow sword. The devil, ruler of the malevolent, the one who conquers held up his hand forming an eerie, bleak, blotchy, black ball of magic.  
“Hello, there Eric.” Luci caught his attention, “It has come to our attention that you’ve been doing some shady things.”  
The puff of black disintegrated from Luci’s hand leaving the humans confused. The woman screamed, or she would have if Eric hadn’t covered her mouth with grungy hand.  
“It’s your time Death.” Luci stared behind himself towards the master of demise, the one who departs.  
He moved to the front, confronting Eric and his lass, “Goodbye.”  
It all happened in a split second. Even though she’s seen it millions of times, Karma always finds it astounding. A BANG rang out and Eric fell to the ground, lifeless. Smoke rose from his unmoving body and the woman he went out with could finally release her frustrations. She screamed. Death put his gun back into the void. That was his weapon, an eight- round revolver. At the tip of the barrel was a spectral violet, tiny, magic portal, one that could teleport his bullet anywhere. Each bullet made of pure chaotic power and his aim impeccable. To make his portal he slices an umber doorway with his gun.  
“What the fuck is happening!” the woman squealed.  
“Karma, please, remove her memories.” Reaper instructed.  
A click of her fingers later and the woman was confused as to what she was even doing here in the first palace.  
“Well then… bye.” Karma beamed, walking away back to the violet valley.  
“Karma, where are you going?” Death asked.  
“I need some food. I want some food, I’m in the mood for it so… violet valley here I come.”  
She went on a journey to a couple meters away and sat back down, with the help of a waiter, at the seat she previously sat at. She ordered apple juice and left her siblings vexed outside.  
‘Ghostie always has the worst, most boring missions’ She thought.


End file.
